February 2012
france: ten
france: twenty
france: thirty
france: forty
france: fifty
france: sixty
france:
france:
france: sixty ten
world: france what are you do—
france: four twenties
world: france stop it
france: four twenties ten
world: france that doesn't even make any sense
france:
france:
france:
world:
france:
world:
france: hundred.
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saddeer:
4794:
when a girl cherry pops is the cherry an audible sound?
yeah it sounds like your father crying in the distance
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four1111s replied to your post: four1111s replied to your post: recently i’ve…
i’m nice bc i’m not threatened by u duh can i tag this as #sexyalphamale help plz
[here’s a response to let you know that i’ve read this but i don’t really have anything to say about it]
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four1111s replied to your post: recently i’ve really started to dislike everyone…
but you’ll never be as intimidating as me B’LEE DAT
you are not actually very intimidating, you’re too nice in person
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recently i’ve really started to dislike everyone in one way or another and while i’m kind of sad that i’ve lost my positive disposition i’m also kind of pumped that people think i’m intimidating again now that i’m less hesitant to be mean to everyone
friend: someone told me you look like an owl
me: who?
the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.
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If Common Sense Was Used in Government and the...
Citizen: I don't believe in abortion.
Government: Then don't get one.
Citizen: I don't believe in birth control.
Government: You don't have to use it.
Citizen: I think gay marriage is a sin.
Government: Don't marry the same sex then.
Citizen: I want my kids to learn about creationism.
Government: Take them to church.
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ttaiintted started following you
i’m just really happy because your blog name has ‘taint’ in it
I bet Rick Astley struggles with Lent.
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helldate:
A few years ago on my birthday I was making out with my then boyfriend, and he just sticks his finger in my butt without asking permission or anything. I asked him what he was doing and he pulls his finger out, looks me dead in the eye, says “happy birthday” and then licks his finger
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my parents: your sister is really sick, can you go stay with her
me: i have three exams this week. also, i don't have a car
my parents: oh, well can you bring her some groceries
me: i don't have a car
my parents: well at least visit her before you have class tomorrow
me: my first class is at 10. also, i don't have a car
my parents: can you visit her after class then
me: .....................................
me: i don't have a car
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“Stop degrading the act of sex by calling it ‘opening your legs.’
I’m so sick...”
– flowersarebetterthanbullets on This Post (I made this a quote, because the original picture with text was visually offensive. These pro-life people need to take a graphic design class.)
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So last night I got about fifteen frantic emails...
anglophonic-blog:
Why?
When “Mr. Cody” aka Cody G. told me to fuck off, I ran what is known as a WHOIS inquiry on the domain name. It led me to the custodian of the site, a guy by the name of Jonathan Standefer.
You might know Jonathan Standefer as the guy who runs LAMEBOOK.
Jonathan blew me off because, hey…he runs LAMEBOOK and why should he give a fuck?
I got tired of being blown off, so...
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whoreoscopes:
doomf:
That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?
25796323689432 feet you say?
Shaggy Confesses It Was Him The Whole Time →
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okay so i’m really high and i’ve been listening to arcade fire and fapping and having explosions and i just put on ariel pink and NOW I UNDERSTAND
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tylerthecaretaker:
aquat1c:
what if the secret of the universe is in the terms and conditions page
still wouldn’t read it
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I touched John Green's crotch.
fishingboatproceeds:
sorethroatchampion:
It felt mushy. If he sees this post it will be really awkward. Hopefully he’s too busy right now to be reading through posts he’s tagged in. *I should stress that it was an accident. He was stage diving. I was trying to hold him up. Hands ended up places.
I remember you.
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OH MY FUCKING GOD
victoryjobs:
I’M IN NEW ORLEANS RIGHT NOW AND SOME DUMBASS WAS TRYING TO GO THE WRONG WAY DOWN A ONE WAY
AND WE WERE LITERALLY YELLING AT HIM “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IT’S A ONE WAY ASSHOLE”
AND HE ROLLED DOWN HIS WINDOW TO ASK FOR HELP
IT WAS MOTHERFUCKING JESSE EISENBERG
“I just need to get into that parking lot right there can you please let me in”
AND WE DID AND I WAS JUST...
iamdaddytree:
i know this is the internet and we’re used to a lot of weird shit and we’re generally ok with most of it and that’s a good thing
but guys
don’t ship real people
please
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cosmo tip #185
expertcosmotips:
cut his balls off they look weird