that thing where you like someone and that person likes you back and you feel like a big fucking bundle of nerves and happy for days and days
November 2011
So a homophobe, a rapist, and a black guy walk into a bar, and everyone's like "Can I have your autograph, Kobe?"
Nice guy
Nice guys is probably a good way to live. But you’ll get nothing.
Sometimes I want to die.
I know that you “love” me
The man hovered over his lover, who lay motionless on the bed. Her beautiful blonde hair only shifted slightly with the breeze coming in through the broken window nearby. Her lips glistened in the moonlight that poured in. Her eyes, though sunken, still spoke of her bubbly personality and charm. Her. The girl of his dreams. The one who had always turned him down. But no, it wasn’t even that - she never turned him down. She loved him all along. And she still does love him.
Her corpse had begun to putrefy and her sick smell had permeated the house. Juices from decomposition stained the bedsheets. Shifting his attention to the millions of teddy bears he had sent her, along with the bouquets of dead flowers piled high in a trash can, he chuckled. How tsun-tsun of her, he thought to himself.
All the times that she had told him, “You’re really creepin me out man what is your problem I’m not even attracted to you go away” she really just meant “YES… WALK ME HOME IN THE RAIN…. BE BETA… BETA AS FUCK…”
His reminiscing ended abruptly as he applied deodorant - he was perspiring wildly. Yet another night with his lover was to come. Bending over the bed, he whispered through heavy mouthbreathing, “I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME….”
FOLLOWERS, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DATE AT ALL
I LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
PLEASE HELP
When I tell someone that I go to GW, and they roll their eyes
Oh that’s cool
get used to it
i don’t tell people where i went to high school anymore
cosmo tip #98
think your man is cheating? stalk him for an entire week with a sheet over your head. he’ll just think he’s being haunted!
“no homo”
none taken
nothing pisses me off more than people who have never been in love, who talk about love like they’re fucking experts on it.
especially stupid teenagers who have never ever been involved with anyone, yet develop pessimistic attitudes toward love and people in love because they’ve been rejected by a crush in the past (or something equally trivial).
it makes me angry when they don’t realize what a beautiful and rare thing love is. they just don’t appreciate how uncommon it is for two people to find each other, fall in love and live happily together for the rest of their lives—or how special it is when it happens.
i don’t appreciate being told by cynical idiots that i’m foolish for letting one person take precedence over everyone else in my life, because they don’t fucking understand our relationship and why i’ve let that person become so important to me.
so don’t try to burst my bubble because your high school crush never noticed you, or because no one took you to prom. quit dwelling on the past and grow the hell up.
