puckermanfabray: lets play “which download link is the real one”
slavetrade: who needs xtube when you have richwhitelesbian.tumblr.com/tagged/me
triple-6: Crazy Lazy Lazy Crazy Boyfriend Weed Cat - Best Coast
richwhitelesbian: this dad cant see his kids anymore after a messy divorce but can HE see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
weedhitler: if you put sriracha on a nutella sandwich, the CEO of Tumblr is required, by law, to prison-style tattoo your name and a phrase of your choosing on his thigh
teddypup: YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY 17 DANCING QUEEN, FEEL THE BEAT OF THE TAMBOURINE OOH YEAAAAH
sunhatedginger: glitterpotato: sticky-minaj: vgly: dumbfuckery: I stole this kid’s neopets account and when I checked my email I find this omg ‘kindly EXCUSE ME “breathing down ur butt!”
brakhage: i just told my dad some teenage girls think serial killers are cool and he threw his hands up in exasperation and huffed “FUCK THE ENTIRE WORLD”
batreaux: i’m not like most girls. my head snaps back and a giant pez candy emerges from my throat
vveaboo: the guy in an anime who always has a glare on his glasses and pushes them up when he has something to say
i-o-u-a-fall: thenextdragonborn: internet-boy: my mom asked me if thor was an anime…. loki onii-chan why are you so mean uguu i-it’s not like i want the throne of asgard or anything… baka…!!
hanksypanky: “oh yeah baby” he moaned. “let me touch you with my stick of pleasure” she gives him a weird look. “have you been reading fanfiction on the internet again.” the man blushes, but the redness of his cheeks is no match for his throbbing sex organ.
draculoids: do you know why we’re all single we never forwarded those chain messages
sherlockandjohnwatson: “oh, you don’t want kids? hahaha, you think that now, but you’ll change your mind when you get older, you’ll eventually want kids when——”
richwhitelesbian: the interviewer asks me “where do you see yourself in 10 years”. am i applying at some sort of time travel company? am i the only person here who can’t see into the future? i ask him what the winning lottery numbers are for next month.
batreaux: “dad did you drink the last root beer?” i say, annoyed. “yeah and i touched your moms boobs too” he says before riding off on your skateboard to go terrorize the local mall
snoopdong: “Cuddleuppets are your two most favorite things rolled up into one! A blanket that cuddles! And a puppet that plays!” The only thing rolled up here is the fat blunt these blankets blazed 5 minutes ago